Ryan Muddiman - Singer-songwriter-poet
  • birth.
  • words.
    • poems-anchored to song >
      • Lover Goodbye
      • Damn
      • Strange And Beautiful
      • Never Let
      • Burden
      • Novel
      • Don't Forget To Feel
      • Silent Blue
      • Song For Tyler
      • Humble Resolve
      • God III
      • He Said, She Said
      • In Spite Of All
      • Forever's Too Long
      • Scab
      • Lying
    • on writing >
      • Burial of Self-Delusion
      • Every One of Us
      • Letter to Self 9-1-15
      • Filthy Whore of Demand
      • Music is
      • In This Moment
  • music.
  • elements of truth / press.
    • City Beat Magazine - Interview be Ezra Waller
    • City Beat Magazine - Interview by C.A. MacConnell
  • images-moving and still.
  • reaching out
  • death (BUY ME).
  • New Page
  • In This Moment
In This Moment
When I didn't have a handle on my depression I dreaded the Fall. Oh, how I fucking dreaded the Fall.
Now that I have found a way, at least for the moment, to keep it in a box, locked, deep in the files of my brain...I want the rain. I want the bleakness of a sunless day. I can go to that box. Unlock it. Open it. And make it dance for me. Its footprints leave a dark trail for me to read and shape. Then, I can snatch that evil bastard up and squeeze it between my fingers until it oozes out the last of its debilitating intent onto a page, a song, or both. Then, back into the box.
 
In this moment I have no fear of that shadow breathing its cold breath of emptiness on my neck.

​In this moment.
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